Captain Morgan & The Best Boy Band In Vietnam
One of the many highlights of Busabout’s Vietnam Adventure
Sure, the snorkelling on Busabout‘s Nha Trang boat trip is incredible. We visit a marine protected island and get to dip into the blue waters surrounding it, revealing a colourful underwater world full of stripy fluoro fish and spiralling coral nests. Like all of Southeast Asia, the water is lukewarm and enjoyable and the only reason you’ll have to get out is because your hands are becoming more wrinkled than one of those photogenic Vietnamese grandmothers you see everywhere.
But the real pull of this excursion is the charming Captain Morgan, an older Vietnamese gent wearing a sensible long-sleeved red rashie top and a cheeky moustache. He’s the lead guide for the trip and announces himself as Morgan Freeman, except “free for woman not free for man”. Morgan has a deceptively good grasp of English (and a dozen other languages) as he herds the tourist cats towards the deck chairs and local buffet lunch.
Post spring roll feast, we all need to move back and make way for the boat’s official boy band. The crew scramble around setting up plastic drums and plugging in guitars. After a loud guitar solo the lead singer comes onstage – one of the crew has gone full ladyboy, with a flowing wig, coconut bikini and crude gestures to match. They call up passengers from different countries and make them do karaoke of their national anthems (Australia: Down Under; USA: Summer of ’69; UK: Wonderwall; Korea: Gangnam Style) which everyone bar the people singing finds hilarious.
Just when quirky Asia can’t get any quirkier, Captain Morgan jumps on the mic and calls for a free happy hour. He then jumps into the water, climbs onto his floating bar and starts pouring a dubious orange drink into cups. We all hop off after him and swim around, trying to sip his homemade cocktail without tasting it. Morgan initiates a drinking game that plays off the national way of saying cheers (moht, hai, bah, yohhh!), making anyone who answers ‘no’ take a long skoll of the evil orange. Everything is going fine, with Morgan quick to trick people into saying ‘no’.
Then he takes it to the next level.
“Will, do you want to see my penis?”
I had been going well at the drinking game so far but this threw me a little.
Captain Morgan stands up on his floating chair and starts taking down his board shorts until he’s only wearing his old Asian man undies.
“Are you sure? You want to see my penis?”
Now I’m really not sure. Everyone else at the bar is laughing and going hysterical. Damn you Morgan.
“Yeah alright, go on.”
He thrusts his hand into his jocks, wiggles it around, and pulls out a yellow banana.
The crowd shrieks with laughter and everyone wonders where the hell they are.
The day finishes with selfies with the Captain and hugs that last a little longer than normal. Morgan is such a heartbreaker that he’s used to his fawning fan club and he just smiles them all off. The Nha Trang boat trip is such a top day out on the water. Come for the snorkelling, stay for Captain Morgan and the best boy band in Vietnam.
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Have you ever had a travel experience made even better because of a stand out local?
Or better yet, have you met the famous Captain Morgan in person?