5 Top Films To NOT Get You Excited About Travel
“Playing the guitar badly, wearing beads, talking about ‘one love’ and pretending you are friends with Central American villagers – who, by the way, despise you – before heading back to your parents five-bedroomed house in Surrey, doesn’t make you a spiritual person, it makes you a bell-end.” – Will, The Inbetweeners.
This article originally appeared in Issue 15 of NomadHead Magazine.
The best horror films are always the ones loosely based on reality, aren’t they? This film is about a group of young American bro’s get told about a hostel in an impoverished Eastern European city where the party goes all night and the ladies are hot and on the prowl. Seems reasonable right – like most backpacker hang outs the world over. Except this hostel has a gruesome twist. Rich businessmen pay top dollar to kidnap these travellers and torture them in the hostels dungeons. This movie is truly about the horror porn and a lot of the scenes are brutal to watch. Fingers crossed it doesn’t happen to you when you book that ‘Slavia trip.
The Two Faces of January
The Two Faces of January lands its ‘travel is dangerous’ point very close to me. It stars Oscar Isaac as an American working as a tour guide in Athens, who offers to guide a rich couple around. He soon discovers that the couple (Viggo Mortensen and Kirsten Dunst) got their wealth through illegal means and he gets caught up in a murder plot. You should watch it for the 1950s wardrobe. Man it would be cool to travel Greece wearing a beige suit and matching fedora.
This is the film that launched Liam Neeson’s action star status and instilled a fear within parents right around the world (especially Americans). Another scary film based on plausible events. Two young girls are on their first big trip overseas and make friends with strangers. Didn’t their parents ever tell them not to do that? Strangers then kidnap girls and sell them off as sex slaves, never to be seen again….except for the fact that Liam Neeson is the boss dad who comes to the rescue and cracks some skulls along the way. “I will find you, I will kill you”. Try to forget that this kidnapping misadventure happens in western Europe (Paris for goodness sakes). And don’t let it scare you off travelling, even if you don’t have Liam Neeson as a dad.
The Truman Show
Poor old Truman Burbank is the unwitting star of his own reality TV show, which has been live on air for almost 30 years. How do the producers keep him unknowingly imprisoned on his giant film set? They put the almighty fear of everything that can go wrong with travelling into Truman. Ever since he was a young boy, Truman was given warnings of terrorism, diseases, plane crashes and foreigners. Not to mention his travel agent is absolutely useless – she tells him the next available flight to Fiji doesn’t leave until months away. Fortunately the film does have a happy, pro-travel ending. Jim Carrey as Truman excels.
If anyone is going to make a summer trip to Crete in Greece a pathetic, cringeworthy failure, you can be sure it will be Jay, Will, Simon and Neil of The Inbetweeners. Their lad shenanigans will turn you off travel, especially to destinations where young school leavers or redneck/chav/bogan tourists are prevalent (Cancun, Magaluf and Bali respectively). Trust us, you will have a far better time than them.
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Have you seen any movies that have made you re-think that flight overseas? Let us know in the comments!